This Epson Stylus TX420W we have at my office in Lima, which seems to be some crappy model that they don’t sell in the United States (and which I did not purchase), apparently goes through about one ink cartridge per page. It’s like there’s a time limit on them. Pop in a new cartridge and do as much printing as you can in the next 15 minutes because after that it’s empty. This printer goes through ink cartridges like U.S. Navy SEALs through an Abbottabad compound: fast and stealthy and taking no prisoners.

I’m not even that old, and I remember the days when you could just print and print until the pages were nothing more than light gray streaks like some aborted pencil relief shading. The printer might gently alert you that the ink could potentially be running a shade low and if you felt like it you could think about possibly changing it sometime in the future, maybe. But it was your fucking prerogative, and if you wanted to do nothing but roll out blank page after blank page, the printer was fine with that.

 

The other week, I tried to scan a document to my computer, but I couldn’t. Because the ink was out. I didn’t want to print anything, I just wanted to digitally scan a document directly to my laptop. No, sorry, the black ink is “empty,” so I’m going to disable all other functions. And forget about trying to print anything in black and white if one of the color cartridges is empty. THAT WOULD BE ABSURD.

I know I’m not the first person to rant about these kinds of issues, and yet some diligent Googling lead me to no solid answers. Lots of complaining, but no firm recommendation for a printer that doesn’t put its users through ink cartridge hell, and was made in the last decade. I’d like Wifi connectivity, and copy/scan functions (no fax, thank you). I don’t want it to fill up half my desk. And it needs to play nicely with Macs. That’s all I ask. Does such a thing exist? Am I chasing a unicorn?

In fact, does it even make sense to own a printer any more? Unless you’re a photographer or author, how much personal printing do you really do? With quick-print photo kiosks in most major supermarkets and a FedEx Kinko’s in every town, maybe it makes more financial sense to just outsource your personal printing. It seems there’s always once or twice a year when you need to print something out in an emergency and a trip to Kinko’s or Meijer’s is just too much effort, but how many of those times do you also find your personal printer out of ink, or paper? I think when I get back to the U.S. I’m gonna give up owning a printer, the same way I did cable television and a telephone landline. I doubt Epson/HP/Canon/Lexmark/Lucifer have any product that can change my mind.